This is meant to be a compliment but it really isn’t. All it says is that a person is still “fuckable” which means that men still want to put a baby in them at age 70. Ewh! Well, not me! Jane Fonda, maybe.
Is “hot” the only criteria for approval in Modernia? It is. After all our whining and writing and picketing, why is it still better for women to remain smooth and svelte; unsullied by the years?
“You are not old!”
I am old and yet when I say it aloud someone nearby ALWAYS says, “Oh, no you’re not. You are young at heart. You are just getting started. You are only as old as you think.” …Or as old as I feel? If that’s the case, then I am as old as the hills because I have been feeling terrrible for the past ten years.
For one thing, this is patronizing coming from a younger person who really does have the rest of her life in front of her and actually is young. It is attempted robbery of my duly earned station. I came by my years honestly. Taking me down twenty notches on the wisdom ladder pisses me off. I intend to become more and more intolerable as the the years pass.
As if “old” were a bad thing. We are not supposed to say the word old; why? Old is a bad thing. We hate old, but don’t say that out loud. Will never admit it. The old are frightening because they remind us of our mortality. The old have shriveled skin, cloudy eyes, dry pussies and limp dicks; yuck! Now adays my pussy is quite damp, thank you; from dribbling in my granny panties. As a child, the elderly scared the shit out of me, now I understand.
We did not, for the most part, live with old people, like the previous generations. We saw them doddering about in public. The occasional friend had “granny” living in the room off the kitchen, and what a novelty that was. We visited the old folks once a year. Their house smelled weird and we had nothing in common. And, they looked terrible; like tissue paper people. Children did not want to ever look like them.
The only way to keep “Big Nurse” from the door at the “home” is to stay incredibly beautiful like Jane Fonda and Raquel Welch to name a couple of other “elderbabes.” Sophia Loren; That black elderbabe singer with the great legs who is now a macrobiotic- the name escapes me but will show up on my brains after this is published; Diana Ross.
Quite a task for someone who spent a life being naturally beautiful and wishing it were over I could get on with the business of being real.
Fat is Another Dirty Word
ME: “I’m sixty seven years old.”
THEM: “You don’t look that old.
ME: “I have never looked my age. Baby face. And now that I am fat, the wrinkles stretch the skin.”
THEM: “You aren’t fat.” (This means, “I love you even though you are gross.”)
ME: “Are you protecting me from a word? Do you suppose that you are a wandering therapist, just waiting for a confused soul to pass by you, saying words that you must correct in situ? Well do you? Do I need correction for being mean to myself? I must be nicer to me? My body has fifty pounds of excess weight, (like carrying 7 gallons of water with me wherever I go!) but don’t say that out loud. Do not use that word; the “f” word.
We used to say “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Over the years I have realized that intent is what breaks bones. Speak in low tones with a foreign language and say, “I hate you to your core,” and no one’s the wiser. They will thank you; love you, even. Kids in the playground slung those arrows with piercing determination. They were trained by their parents, who were trained by theirs in the art of acting out hate with malicious intent. Or they saw it on TV! Which makes me wonder if it would be a good idea to let the state raise the kids with loving nannies, instead of neurotic, duopolist, consumer couples with rusty axes to grind. Don’t panic! It is sarcasm, an idea; humorous in this context. Jeese Louise!
There are many dirty words but we can all agree that these are some of the worst. And we can say them out loud in public without censure.
It seems as though body functions are thought to be dirty, except for the god one. Polite people in polite society don’t talk about real body stuff; like fuck (supposed to be joyful) shit (feels good when it’s out) piss (so good when I am on time) etc… Polite people like to pretend that they don’t have a body.
One last thing:
Who taught us that?